rosemary bough in breezeRaina lady in sunglasses /Rainit’s easy to get married /
that night in the alkali-dustyRaintentRainthe forest’s moon lit
hatchworkRainharsh white /Rainmy teeth chattering hands trembling

stars in ourRainchromosomesRainroaring
at & in us / secret /RainoutRainfrom the broken jar
of our original body /RainquickRainwhile we’re both here

tell me anRainexperience of exquisiteRainpleasure / here’s one of
mine: sacked outRainG. & E. & meRainafter a week backcountry
frightenedRii& happy mammalsRiion a nowhere hill twenty-five miles to Umatilla

before a fire blownRainsideways as the sun settingRainburned
the snowline brieflyRainblueRainacross the Cascades / eating
bag-bottom cashew crumblesRainsalmon skinRainpesto oil & Clif bars

as the stars swungRaintoward us their century-long lashes /Riimy knee killing me /
the earth is my footstoolRainwhat kind of house can you build for me /Rainlike the tap-tap-
crunchRainon the eggshellRaininner membrane clinging /

thank you to
the please
iiiiremove
iiiiyour cash past
iipast
ivy
iiargyling the
iiiidumpster’s
iiiivolta
small
iiwings
big
iifeet
could I
iibe
completed and
iiiinot know the
iiline
the newspaper
iivendor’s
sales-
iicadence
iiiisoothes
to sense
toward what
iiiihob-
bled
aviary
iiiiin
iiview
of
iiiiglad-
ness’s
iistrand-
work
iiiiringing
love not
me
iiiibut

what body everRainunderstood inevitability /Rainare any of these names
sacred or pertinentRainor even clear /Rainunder a spatter of grass clippings
one flowerRainpowder-purple /Rainthe duration of your skin

from throat to shoulder / noRainI imagineRainI’ll never be free of the power
pleasure & pain have over me /Rainas spring day’s skirtRaindrags
& my dendrites crackle fromRaindeep in the over-Raintaking stillness of the dead /

your folks saidRainin KisanganiRainthey met this American ex-Peace Corps
who told howRainyears ago she’d gone hikingRainbackcountry
brought a friendRainbrought her rifle in case /Rainscaling a rock wall

slick with mossRainher friend had slippedRainfallen
twenty feet &Rainsmashed his knee /Rainshe left him her gun & food &
ranRainfrantic for the villageRainreturned 8 hours later with

two locals & a stretcherRainto find his hollowed-out corpse /
immobile &Rainswarmed by aRainroving 10,000-strong colony
of flesh-eatingRainarmy antsRainhe’d killed himself

single shotRainto the head /Rainsuicide is
absolutely literal:Rainit’s what you doRainwhen the pain can no
longer be borne /Rainso I’m tryingRainto cope with-

out righteousness /RaindyingRainwith this body is
the deathRainof all I know & allRainit’s possible I’ll make a change
of light & park crowdsRainclear out / aRainthousand times

worse than theRaincrimes committed by theRainwicked are
the punishmentsRaininflicted by the good /Rain& in our nation’s Chanel-scented
high-rise mausoleumsRain& desiccated palm gardensRain& copper-stripped
Rainsock factories

flecked with maroonRainmoney our brothers & sistersRainskitter
with frightRain& at a touch of speed-dialRainor a thinning in the mutter
of their motion-trackingRainlasers summonRainuniforms–people I mean–so

numbedRaindyspeptic & deeply bewitchedRainby their worldly might
that to beat & belittleRainshoot & surveilRainis their pleasure /
to protect us /Rainit’s OKRainlook at his ropy limbs

& his snowy-ballfield eyes /RainI’d have been scared too /Rainreal talk:
every so oftenRaina police officer isRainshot to death on the job
or a Blackwater employeeRainis burned in his Land CruiserRainmutilated

by a hundred eager instrumentsRainthenRainswung from a bridge & some
little voice in meRainbegins the tallyRainof answering
unrecordedRainnightstick beatingsRain& interrogation room rapes

Predator dronesRain& street-to-street strafingRainwe’ll return with
to restoreRainthe intricate patternworkRainof our righteousness
& might /Rainto curseRainis not immoral /

but
iiwhere can
we go
iiiito strike
iithe same
notes face
iiafter face
new
iimeek
iifop of a
iiiifriend after
iinew
blast of
iiiilawless
maple
mountain’s
iiiislumbering
iiwater-
mark
iifades
needletip
iivines
crude after-
iiiinoon
assemblies of
iiiilupine
iitouch my
throat
gingerly and the
instrument
iitrembles
sussurant
iimasses
iiof
leaves

in the halo of every cityRaindon’t the sunned onesRainscavenge
a sort ofRainthunderRainshake fruit
like fire fromRaincertain treesRainyet even these whose every

moment’sRaina throbbing thresholdRainI wouldn’t want
making law /Rain& a sign I’m toldRainin a surge of baby octopuses
swallowed byRainthousands /Raindrinking wine

& playing cards whenRainsuddenly /Raina star dies
spewing elementsRainheavier with eachRainstellar generation–
helium from hydrogenRaincarbon orRaineven iron–

& the stuff of usRainisRainscattered into being /
regathered into heat /Rainthe sun is aRainthird-generation star /
windstruckRainpuddle stirringRainstreetlight

—

Jay Aquinas Thompson (he/they) is a poet, essayist, and teacher with recent or forthcoming work in Guesthouse, Interim, Pacifica Literary Review, and Passages North. They’ve been awarded grants and fellowships from the Ragdale Foundation, the Community of Writers, the Sustainable Arts Foundation, and King County 4Culture. They live with their child in Washington state, where they teach creative writing to incarcerated women.