by Jay Aquinas Thompson | Associate Editor
Alice Notley came to read for Seattle Arts & Lectures on a warm, rainy spring evening. Notley, whose forty-five-year career has included much charged, visionary poetry and only intermittent mainstream literary attention, drew a smallish crowd to the auditorium below the old McCaw Opera House. A few hundred people came to sip wine, leaf through their new books (the beloved Open Books, the eventâs vendor, sold tablefuls of Notleyâs titles), and catch a little of Notleyâs light. Notleyâs opening act was Emrys Foster, a teen poet and student in SALâs Writers in the Schools program: âHow should I breathe?â went one of their poemâs many questions. âSit in the sand and listen to the sea.â SALâs organizers also showed a short film honoring Elliott Bay Books and Open Books, recipients of SALâs 2016 Prowda Awards.
After these openings, Notley crept carefully up to the mic. She read entirely from her newest book, Certain Magical Acts (âI have to make sure itâs goodâ), her paperback dog-eared and stuffed with page markers of ripped-up paper. She opened with Actsâs second poem, âTwo of Swords,â named for the Tarot card showing a woman blindfolded, bearing two crossed swords under a twilight sky. The card, my seer friends tell me, often suggests balance, indecision, and cerebration. But perhaps Notley just liked the image itself, for its suggestion of dangerous power and inner escape: âIf I drop both swords and rip off the blindfold,â she wrote, âI still canât / leave, for I canât leave this world except internally.â
This inner escape is key to Notleyâs poetry. It isnât a slide into fancy, but an inner triumph over political falsehood, received social reality, and the âcartoon creaturesâ of external appearance. Her poems give the sense of being channeled rather than composed, but Notley read without the placid blankness of a medium. Her voice was a high thin rush, her body tense around her book. Pulling her little markers out from a dozen excerpts of her long sequence âVoices,â Notley muttered, âI never know which one I meant to read,â but she proceeded to pour dynamic energy into every dream-echo and mighty violent presence that speaks in the sequence.
I want to be a star blown in
the wind from the river, one of a thousand empty things on its breath. Whatâs leftof a sister life could be display, iridescence, wham! Not your idea
of an old building on a rundown streetâI wanna be a peacock! [34]
At that line, the audience laughedâthe social chuckle of recognition that tends to punctuate poetry readings when someone reads something daringâbut Notley didnât look up. She remained in the grip of her voices:
Iâd
rather just kill. Join the ghost dancers later at the ossified bridge to tripover crushed skulls across the river whose originâs emotionâfake
panaceas of warbling values, religious nuttiness, con artâto partake,
finally, of livid equality, death. [32-33]
If these quotations feel overly intense, itâs because the fickle, visceral, often ghostly quality of Notleyâs poems make them tough to excerpt. Her work is best experienced in long immersions, or, as at this reading, in intense out-loud rushes. In her essay âThinking in Poetry,â Notley wrote that âthe âIâ I most prefer sits serenely and somewhat numinously behind my personality, behind a sort of window, watching the chaotic and distressing events of the world.â This âIâ is amoral, prehuman, often genderless but enraged by thousands of years of womenâs subjection, diminishment, and exclusion.
Notley has also written that as a woman poet, she had no sense of âcoming after,â no lineage or tradition she could trust or identify with. For Notley, the epistemology of poetryâs canon is rooted so deeply in womenâs oppression that she, as a woman, had to begin entirely on her own, without any clear model for her self-creation. Another of the âVoicesâ declares:
Women are not allowed truth,
not allowed speaking roles, not allowed to be precise. They say
in a rhythm of lying, Iâm almost equal now, children,
embrace me. When my death comes Iâll have nearly been the one. [57]
Notleyâs sense of self-creation may be one source of her own bravado towards her work. When she was asked in the Q&A after the reading about her 1996 epic poem The Descent of Alette, she said that creating an epic was just another means of artistic survival. âI wanted to know that I could do anything I wanted to. I had to make the entire history of literature exist in me to do anything at all.â
After reading another long pieceââFound Work (Lost Lace),â a hushed, insular, anxious sequence written in the voice of a manuscriptâNotley closed with the central poem of Acts, a long spell called âBlinding, the White Horse in Front of Me.â In âBlinding,â a healer performs a ritual of renewal and cleansing for a patient whose initial terror gives way to a renewed potency and joy. The poem, Notley explained during the Q&A, came after a visit to her mother back home in Needles, California: at eighty-eight, her mother had broken her hip but recovered completely as few elders can. âBlinding,â Notley said, was written in the days after her visit, coming âup from the floor of my apartmentâ as if communicated directly to her by an unseen presence.
âBlindingâ was overpowering, an undeniable experience of languageâs ability not just to describe but to enact, cleanse, and alter. The voice of the healer, like many of Notleyâs voices, spoke beyond time and without a clear symbolic referent.
I am the being
that deflects change, for change is boring and haunted,
the same gestures in shifting colors. You know
all the colors. Stop, just stop. Nothing suffices but
timelessness. You terrify me, you say. I am the being
beyond terror, beyond extinction; details flow off me. Here
it rains a mechanical grey vapor, if thatâs what
you want. I am the being containing no organs, nerves,
or other definition. I am the being who isnât speaking,
the one who doesnât speak a language, the one
who has no charms or amulets, the one who canât
be bought: you have me so you canât have me.
Iâm the being in which the universe is outside harmony,
outside symmetry and consequence. Outside protection.
You have not passed beyond fear; youâre shaking.
I have to help everyone; I have to leave, the patient says.
Youâll never leave me now. Youâre mine. Be as I say. [103-104]
The healer is mighty and impersonally cruel; their violence is one of breaking inner walls and expectations down. And their ritual succeeds: by the end of the poem, it is the patient who has picked up the poemâs ecstatic refrain.
âŠI am the being that is more than
what we do to ourselves. I am the being that is larger
than the subjugation of women, that thousands-of-
years-old moment. I am the being that has never
lived on earth. I am the being whose tears are
weather. I am the being that has always been. [110]
By the end of the poem, the audience was holding its breath and Notley was in tears. Notleyâs quest to make the whole self into a work of artâself-defining, self-shaping, amoral and freeârecalls Stevens, or maybe even Nietzsche. But the insatiability of Notleyâs poetic voice, and its disdain for intellectualism, mean that her readers feel the immediate thrill of this freedom more than (as in Stevens) its abstract beauty. We too celebrate the frightening potency of self-creation. And Notley, at seventy-one, is possessed of a self-assurance that makes it seem like she could keep writing forever. During the Q&A, Christine Deavel, former co-owner of Open Books, read a question from the audience: âHow do you keep ego out of your work?â âI donât know,â Notley said with a smile. Then she shrugged: âI donât care.â